Unburied Poo Behavior:Territory Disputes on 27th Continue Among Juneau, Oscar, Skunk, and Pencils

In July, we were notified about two separate incidents involving neighborhood charmer Oscar. In one, Oscar is the (alleged) victim; in the other, the (alleged) aggressor. According to our sources, Juneau has been regularly attacking Oscar within his territory. We have not received a comment from Juneau, but this story has been corroborated with eye-witness reports. To add to the drama, another neighbor informed us that Oscar trespassed into the territory of Skunk and Pencils, who earned their names from their impressive stock of stink-bomb and lead-based ammo. Yikes! Skunk and Pencils refer to their yard as a “NTCA,” or a “No Tomcat Area,” and intruding cats (particularly males) have about 2 seconds to scoocharoo before the pair patacks!

Our culture critic Sweet Miss Til reminds us of the cycle of violence: “Oscar is a victim, and that has led him to unburied poo behavior—being a big stinker in other cats’ yards. We encourage Juneau to come to the negotiating table soon and help clear this mess up.”